Oh God! It’s a PSA.

Squiggles

George Burns

Below is a list of physical effects of crack addiction:

  • nausea and vomiting
  • enjoying the movie “Leatherheads”
  • anxiety
  • convulsions
  • twittering
  • insomnia
  • loss of appetite leading to malnutrition and weight loss
  • finding Hilary Duff attractive
  • cold sweats
  • hot shivers
  • swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes
  • swelling and bleeding of the cock
  • restlessness and anxiety
  • damage to nasal cavities
  • laughing at Dane Cook
  • possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions
  • starring in movies with John Denver

M*A*S*H U*P

Squiggles

Gaydar O'Reilly

How did Gaydar survive for seven seasons with Father Mulcahy?  I’m glad to see that the artist went through great pains to accurately portray Mr. Burghoff’s physical deformity. (Or it could be the artist has a physical deformity of his own.)

M*A*S*H? Paul Lynde?! How old are these cartoonists? Someone needs to tell them to start cracking wise about Zac Efron. Speaking of gaydar…

Rest in Pee Soup

Rest in Pieces

Rest in Pee Soup

Here’s a relatively new strip named “Rest in Pieces.”  Crankshit better watch out because there’s a new kid in the nursing home and she’s sassy!  I’m assuming this is a woman although it could be Benjamin Franklin.  Or possibly even Bonnie Franklin after tap dancing failed to offer the long term health benifits she envisioned.

Judging by her name, I assume she’s eating clam chowder.  She’s so sassy it’s probably Rhode Island style.

Comic Footnotes

Whizzit

whizzit

Another favorite comic named Whizzit never fails to amuse.  By the looks of the hat and undershirt we’re still in 1953.  Of course this fits in perfectly with a comic universe made up of Beetle Bailey1, Hi and Lois2, Blondie3, Archie4, Dennis the Menace5, Grin and Bear It6, Family Circus7.  Shall we continue?  Ok, Broom Hilda8, Marmaduke9,Barney Google10

 

1) Beetle Bailey was my favorite Beatle.  Much better drummer than Ringo

2) There’s actually a book of the “Best” of Hi and Lois.  I dare you to buy it.  Or read it cover to cover.

3) Hitler’s Dog.

4) Hitler’s God.

5) ibid

6) op cit

7) Who fucked barfy up the butt? Not Me!

8 ) This is not in Jest, what kind of Broom did Hilda Ride?a

9) Marmapuke.

10) At least he had a technically modern name.  What’s it called when Barney Googles himself?

 

 

a) A Broom of the System.

 

 

Techno Porn

Bunky

Bunky

Some questions about this strip:

  • Does this robot swallow? 
  • Is the robot helping Bunky get ready for an oral exam?
  • Does the robot make sure Bunky gets ahead?
  • What more would this robot do for a “All night cram session?”

Back in our College Daze we had a more primitive homework robot based on the Apple II+.  It wouldn’t let us get past second base, but boy did that robot have amazing rack of bits.

Sir Pro-Life-A-Lot

Squiggles

Sir Blender

Unfortunately for Sir Lot, musical taste also begins at conception.   There are some little known facts about Sir Lot that you may not be aware of.

  • Anthony Ray was so ahead of his time that he recorded a special spoken word piece (more a tone poem, really) about the dangers of Vitamin D deficiency for the B – side to his Greatest Hit 45.
  • George W. Bush was heavily influenced by Baby Got Back in his decision to halt government funding for stem cell research.
  • Jump on It sucks.
  • Sir Lot does not really own an anaconda.