Seems like Chantix™ is coming for all the greats. It took four years to get Ray Liotta. So Stephen King still has time to pump out about 75 additional books before it gets him. Plus, he’ll have more time now that he’s off the cock-pipe.
Tag: Comic
Get Woke (in time to watch the next episode)
The original MTS is shown at 5:30 am on MeTV, so you must be woke to see it. In the reboot, Steve Douglas is played by Willem Dafoe, an aging star deigning to do TV for a huge paycheck. In the reboot, Steve is a serial killer who disappears:
- His first wife
- His live in father-in-law, Bub, who is the only mother figure his trio of trixic sons have ever known
- His oldest son, Mike and first daughter-in-law Sally
- The parents of his adopted replacement for Mike
- Second (then first) son Robbie
- Tramp the dog. Controversially eaten in a classic “mix-up” episode when family thinks they’re trying a new delicacy cooked by the horrible Korean stereotype character that moves in next door.
So basically the reboot is exactly like the original.
Making Ends Meet
Deep Doo Doo (if that is your real name) may not realize that President Joe (Manchin) is far up the butt of Big TP. Most Republiqanons opposed the infrastructure bill because if they take the lead out of the water, no one would ever vote for them again.
Mandela Effect
I could have sworn that Scott Baio was the Karate Kid. Imagine my surprise to find out it was C. Thomas Howell who played Daniel. Did you know that Miyagi never said “Wax on, Wax off?” Did you know that Gwen Stefani is older now than Pat Morita was when he played Miyagi? Rest In Power Wisdom Tooth!!!
Well aware that it was Ralph Macchio! Stay tuned to this blog for more Karate Kid trivia!
Political Reach Around
Calling all libtards and MAGATS! Grab your fave hat of any color you like (unless you’re in Alabama or Texass) and give your favorite gender unspecified friend (in California or Vermont) a hand. Or a mouth. WWJOMD‽ (What would jesus or marduk do?)
Banana Republic
Hans still might not win the election for island mayor because he has to overcome a voting bloc of seagulls. The seagulls are Chinese so they’ve employed heavy gerrymandarin. With such high voter turnout, though, proposition 24 might pass.
Medusa Hair Nostalgia
Let us think about what was in the zeitgeist nine years ago. Remember when “Medusa Hair” threatened the fabric of our democracy itself? I spent gobs of money on small rodents just to keep my new-fangled do happy. Still, in the softening patina of time, I supposed it was a better style than “The Rachel” or “The Kate Gosselin!”
Rain on Your Wedding Day
Here are some other “ironic” coincidences that Alanis missed out on that would have made for a fabulous song sung in rounds.
- Hans Asperger died of Alzheimer’s disease.
- Alois Alzheimer frequently shouted that he had Tourette’s syndrome ya fuckin’ scabby witch.
- George de las Tourette’s lymph nodes were prudish and came down with Hodgkin’s lymphoma (not the good kind).
- Thomas Hodgkin was a colleague of Thomas Addison and caught Addison’s disease from him.
- Thomas Addison had a shaky grasp of reality after coming down with Parkinson’s disease.
- James Parkinson got a shitty deal after coming down with Crohn’s disease.
- Burrill Crohn was Jewish. In a fantastic twist of fate, he did not have Tay-Sachs disease, but instead went full-spectrum with Asperger’s.
- Rinse and repeat.
Justice for Dylan (not Bob)
The previous comic was also found on on Mark Redwine’s phone. It was probably the most damning evidence produced at trial.
Mask Man(date)
Finally, men can understand a bit of what it’s like to be a woman. So get out and get your cock vaccinated and enjoy just a little of Aunt Flo.