Doubting Thomas the Tank Engine didn’t think he could get up that hill. And guess what? He was right. He failed miserably. So what is the moral of this story? Next year, for lent, give up the thing with feathers.
Tag: God
God is not Dead
The answer is yes.
god is not dead
just terminally ill
let’s hope to be remembered
in his almighty will.
Nietzsche is Deadish
Finally thought we’d get some closure on Lydia? Think again, ghost rider. Lydia is a Kant. Besides, she should know she could never really get rid of Heaven.
Womb With a View
We would sincerely like to apologize for missing the passing of Bonnie Franklin. Now you’re tapping for God. Pat Harrington sends his regards and will be joining you momentarily.
Golden Age of Advertising
Shakespeare could write a jingle for Eggos that would really make you think. I think he was best known for his slogan for “Murphy’s Bloodletting.” How many monkeys, and how many years, do you think would be needed to come up with that? Thank god, just like Barry Manilow, he graduated to write his own Copacabana…The Two Gentlemen of Verona.
Harry Chapin vs. Calvin Murphy
Once again, Whizzit was clearly written in the 50’s. The good old days when Football players merely beat their children instead of ignoring them. However, it’s difficult to pay attention to your kids when you can’t even keep track of them or their mothers. Here’s the current league leaders:
| Athlete | # of Children | # of Baby Mamas |
| Calvin Murphy | 14 | 9 |
| Travis Henry | 9 | 9 |
| Evander Holyfield | 11 | ??? |
| Shawn Kemp | 7 | 6 |
| Derrick Thomas | 7 | 5 |
| Scott Skiles | 6 | 4 |
God’s Cum Shot
Comic Footnotes
Another favorite comic named Whizzit never fails to amuse. By the looks of the hat and undershirt we’re still in 1953. Of course this fits in perfectly with a comic universe made up of Beetle Bailey1, Hi and Lois2, Blondie3, Archie4, Dennis the Menace5, Grin and Bear It6, Family Circus7. Shall we continue? Ok, Broom Hilda8, Marmaduke9,Barney Google10
1) Beetle Bailey was my favorite Beatle. Much better drummer than Ringo
2) There’s actually a book of the “Best” of Hi and Lois. I dare you to buy it. Or read it cover to cover.
7) Who fucked barfy up the butt? Not Me!
8 ) This is not in Jest, what kind of Broom did Hilda Ride?a
10) At least he had a technically modern name. What’s it called when Barney Googles himself?
a) A Broom of the System.