Once again, Whizzit was clearly written in the 50’s. The good old days when Football players merely beat their children instead of ignoring them. However, it’s difficult to pay attention to your kids when you can’t even keep track of them or their mothers. Here’s the current league leaders:
| Athlete | # of Children | # of Baby Mamas |
| Calvin Murphy | 14 | 9 |
| Travis Henry | 9 | 9 |
| Evander Holyfield | 11 | ??? |
| Shawn Kemp | 7 | 6 |
| Derrick Thomas | 7 | 5 |
| Scott Skiles | 6 | 4 |