According to the Mayo Clinic, here are the top causes of hernias:
- Being anally raped by a Triceritops
- Eating a salad
- Carrying around all that shit from childhood
- Rocking out to Spandau Ballet
- Squeezing out one miserable turd nugget a day
- Aggressive Doctor checking for a hernia
- Sneezing
- Shaving with Occam’s Razor